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Andrew Lloyd Webber - The Battle Of The Pekes And The Pollicles Ukulele

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The Battle Of The Pekes And The Pollicles Ukulele

(ver. 1)
Andrew Lloyd Webber



Jellicle cats meet once a year
on the night we make the Jellicle choice and
now that the Jellicle leader is here
Jellicle cats can all rejoice

A - E/G# - Bm - E -
A
D - D/E

Of the awful battle of the pekes and the pollicles 
Together with some account Of the participation of the pugs and the poms 
And the intervention of the great Rumpus Cat!!! 

Fm

    Fm
The pekes and the pollicles everyone knows 
      Fm                   C7/F   -   Fm -
Are a proud and implacable passionate foes
      C7/F                          Fm -
It is always the same whereever one goes
        Fm 
And the Pugs and the Poms although most people say 
          Fm                       C7/F  -   Fm - 
That they do not like fighting yet once in a way 
          C7/F  -  C7/F               Fm
They will now and again join into the fray and they 
Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark
  E/B     -     Fm/C     -    C7   -   Fm -
Until you could hear them all over the park and they 
Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark 
  E/B     -     Fm/C     -    C7   -   Fm -
Until you could hear them all over the park 

    Fm                  Fm
Now on the occassion of which I shall speak 
       Fm                       C7/F  -  Fm -
Almost nothing had happened for nearly a week
    C7/F    -     C7/F   -   C7/F  -  Fm - 
And that's a long time for a Pol or a Peke 
    Fm                  Fm        
The big police dog was away from his beat 
  Fm                        C7/F   -    Fm -
I don't know the reason but most people think 
           C7/F  -  C7/F   -   C7/F   -   Fm -         
He slipped into the Wellington Arms for a drink
    A#m   -   D#   -   G#     -    C# - 
And no one at all was about on the street
       F#     -   C7   -   Fm 
When a Peke and a Pollicle happened to meet 
     A#m   -   D#   -    G#   -   C# -
They did not advance or exactly retreat
         F#      -      C7 
But they glared at each other and scr*ped their hind feet and they started to 
Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark 
  E/B     -     Fm/C     -    C7   -   Fm -
Until you could hear them all over the park 

        Fm                       Fm
Now the Peke although people may say what they please 
   Fm                   C7/F   -   Fm -
Is no British dog but a heathen Chinese 
    Fm                         Fm
And so all the Pekes when they heard the uproar
     Fm                       C7/F    -   Fm -     
Some came to the window, some came to the door
           C7/F                         Fm -  
There were surely a dozen more likely a score
    A#m     -     D#    -    G#     -    C# - 
And together they started to grumble and wheeze
         F#   -  C7   -   Fm
In their huffery-snuffery heathen Chinese 
      A#m   -  D#     -    G#    -   C# -
But a terrible din is what Pollicles like
         F#   -   C#    -  Fm 
For your Pollicle dog is a dour Yorkshire tyke 


          A#     -    F7/A#-A#
There are dogs out of every nation 
    F     -    C7      -     F
the Irish, the Welsh and the Dane: 
    G#                         D#
The Russian, the Dutch, the Dalmatian,
    A#   -    A#/D   -  D# - D#/F - 
and even from China and Spain. 
    A#    -     F7/A#   -   A#
The Poodle, the Pom, the Alsatian
        F      -    C7     -   F - D# - 
And the Mastiff who walks on a chain. 
       A#/D     -     F7     -   A#
And to those that are frisky and frolical,
       A#                   G#/A# 
Let my meaning be perfectly plain:

        A#     -   F7/A#   -  A#
That my name it is little Tom Pollicle, 
          A#    -    G#  -  A# 
and you'd better not do it again!"
        Fm 
And his braw Scottish cousins are snappers and biters 
And every dog-jack of them notable fighters 
And so they stepped out with their pipers in order 
Playing "When the Blue Bonnets Come Over The Border" 

A#
A# (2 bars)
G#/A#
A# (2 bars)
A# - G#

         Fm                        Fm
Then the Pugs and the Poms held no longer aloof 
    Fm                    C7/F    -     Fm
But some from the balcony some from the roof joined into the din with a 
Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark 
  E/B     -     Fm/C     -    C7   -   Fm -
Until you could hear them all over the park 
Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark 
  E/B     -     Fm/C     -    C7   -   Fm -
Until you could hear them all over the park

    Fm
Now when these bold hereos together assembled 
    Fm                          C7/F    -   Fm -
The traffic all stopped and the underground trembled
    Fm 
And some of the neighbours were so much afraid 
          Fm                     C7/F -  Fm -
That they started to ring up the Fire Brigade!
     A#m  -   D#    -   G#      -      C# - 
When suddenly up from a small basement flat
    F#        -      C7                   D#--G# 
Why who should stalk out but the Great Rumpus Cat!!!! 
His eyes were like fireballs fearfully blazing 
He gave a great yawn and his jaws were amazing 
And when he looked out through the bars of the area 
You never saw anything fiercer.... 
...Or hairier 

    Fm                       Fm
And what with a glare of his eyes and his yawning 
                            C/F     -    F -
The Pekes and the Pollicles quickly took warning
   Fm                       Fm     
He looked at the sky and he gave a great leap
         Fm                     C/F      -     Fm -
And they every last one of them scattered like sheep!

Fm (2 bars)
Fm
C/F - Fm -
 
    A#m    -   D#    -    G#     -      C# -
And when the Police dog returned to his beat
      E/B   -  Fm/C    -  C7     -    Fm 
There wasn't a single one left on the street!
 

E/B---E/B   -    Fm/C
All hail and all power to the Great Rumpus Cat!!!!

Fm                F#/F
Jellicle cats and dogs all must
D#/F              Fm
Pollicle dogs and cats all must
     C#          F#7
Like undertakers come to dust

(Macavity)
            
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