Garfunkel And Oates - Self Esteem Ukulele

[Verse 1]

C           Am
You text at 3 in the morning
F           G
And you misspell my name
C              Am
You slept with half my friends on Facebook
F           G      
And most of them think you are lame
C            Am
You say that with me, it's different
F              G  
And you're not that big of a dick
C              Am
And if you disappear, it's 'cause "you're busy" 
F                 G                  Am  
Not 'cause you're with some other chick


[Pre-Chorus]
        Em              Am
I know this might be uncouth
                 Em           G
But I decided to tell you the truth


[Chorus]

C                    Am
My self esteem's not low enough to date you
F               G  
It's close, but not quite there
C                     Am
Give me time to get a little more rejected
F                   G               C  Am  F  
And you and I could make an awesome pair
G                 C   Am  F  G       
A totally awesome pair 


[Verse 2]

C           Am
I seem like your perfect target
F              G
Like I've been lonely for too long
C                            Am
You think that I haven't had sex in forever
F          G         
And I'll admit that you're not wrong
C           Am            
But I would rather have no one
F         G     
Than this cr*p, let me reaffirm 
C                     Am
I wouldn't touch your dick if I'd been poisoned
F           G                  Am
And the antidote was in your sperm


[Pre-Chorus]

        Em              Am
I know this might be uncouth
                 Em           G
But I decided to tell you the truth


[Chorus]

C                    Am
My self esteem's not low enough to date you
F               G  
It's close, but not quite there
C                     Am
Give me time to get a little more desperate
F                   G               C  Am  F  
And you and I could make an awesome pair
G                 C   Am  F  G       
A totally awesome pair 


[Verse 3]

F                   C
Thanks for not even pretending to respect me
Am                            G
Or slightly acknowledging how mean this is
F                              C  
Cause what's easy to find is a loving relationship
Am                                       G 
What's hard for a girl like me to find is penises
G
Especially when I'm on the road
    G
Or anywhere, really
      G
Cause I'm a girl. Hello
       G
That's kind of how it goes


[Verse 4]

F                   C
Love is elusive and impossible
    Am                   G 
But dicks are available everywhere
   F                     C     Am
So sorry if I don't feel super-lucky
         G
To get a penis like yours attached
G
To a man who can't even pretend to care

G
Maybe if something goes horribly awry
      G
And I think I'll never find a better guy
        G
But for now... for now...


[Chorus]

C                    Am
My self esteem's not low enough to date you
F               G  
It's so close, but not quite there
C                     Am
Give me time to get a little more wasted
F                   G               C  Am  F  
And you and I could make an awesome pair
G                 C  
A totally awesome pair