Stephen Lynch - If I Were Gay Ukulele

This is from his Comedy Central Presents performance. NO CAPO.

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                    If I Were Gay - Stephen Lynch
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Chords Used: D-xx0232  D/C#-x40232   Bm*-x04430---|
         Dsus2-xx0230  D/F#-200232     G-320033---|
            D*-xx0032    Bm-x24432     A-x02220---|


Intro: 4x
   D D D D Dsus2       D D D D D D*D*D*D*
e|-2-2-2-2-0-----------2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-0---------------------------------|
B|-3-3-3-3-3-----------3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3---------------------------------|
G|-2-2-2-2-2-(let ring)2-2-2-2-0-0-0-0-0-0---------------------------------|
D|-0-0-0-0-0-----------0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0---------------------------------|
A|-x-x-x-x-x-----------x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x---------------------------------|
E|-x-x-x-x-x-----------x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x---------------------------------|

D       D/C# D/F#      D
Here we are, dear old friends
Bm     Bm* G     A
You and i, drunk again
D                D/C#    D/F#             D
laughs have been had and tears have been shed
Bm        Bm*        G          A
maybe the whisky has gone to my head

Chorus:
    D         A
but if i were gay
        Bm          G
i would give you my heart
    D         A
and if i were gay
         Bm         G
you'd be my work of art
    D         A
and if i were gay
         Bm        G
we would swim in romance
 A
but im not gay
   G             A
so get your hand out of my pants

Intro: 2x- D, Dsus2, D, D*

Verse:
    D       D/C#     D/F#   D
Its not that i dont care, i do
  Bm        Bm*   G         A
i just dont see myself in you
 D        D/C# D/F#       D
another time, another scene
       Bm      Bm*
i'd be right behind you
       G            A
if you know what i mean

Chorus:
    D         A
cuz if i were gay
        Bm          G
i would give you my soul
    D         A
and if i were gay
        Bm          G
i would give you my whole being
    D         A
and if i were gay
         Bm            G
we would tear down the walls
A
But I'm Not gay
   G             A
so wont you stop cupping my...hand

Intro: 2x- D, Dsus2, D, D*

Ending:
      D     Dsus2        D     D*
we've never hugged,we've never kissed
     D          Dsus2    D         D*
i've never been intimate with your fist
    D        Dsus2  D         D*
But you have opened brand new doors
    D    Dsus2
get over here and
D    D*   D,Dsus2,D,D*
drop your Drawers

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I got this from studying the comedy central presents.  This is pretty much exactly the 
he plays it... During the part in the chorus, "But I'm not gay..." Play the A and the G 
eigth notes. Happy Hunting.