Kevin Bloody Wilson - Dictaphone Chords

 A 
 Hello operator, I'd like to make a call. 
      A                        E 
 Can I have four double seven three one zero four? 
      A                                             D 
 I'm sorry, sir, could you repeat that number once again? 
       E                                               A 
 Four double seven three one zero four, did ya get it then? 

 
            A 
 Could you speak a little slower - four double seven's all I got. 
  A                            E 
 Three one zero four, are you bloody deaf or what? 
  A                                               D 
 Look, I got the third bit, I just can't get the last. 
       E                                        A 
 Well stick that f**kin' phone up your f**kin' arse! 

 
  D                        A 
 Stick that f**kin' phone up your f**kin' arse, 
  B                                   E 
 You're supposed to f**kin' help not make it f**kin' hard, 
    D                            A 
 I only want to make a call but you're just bein' smart, 
             A                        E 
 So you can stick that f**kin' phone up your f**kin' arse! 
  _______________________________________________
 [The same Strumming pattern continues throughout]
  -----------------------------------------------
 Good morning I'm from Telecom come to disconnect the phone, 
 For a breach of regulations just a couple of days ago. 
 You upset our operator with a pretty nasty call. 
 What are you f**kin' on about - it was all her f**kin' fault. 
 
 Well she claims that it was all your fault, she really was distressed. 
 What about your customers - she upset me first. 
 We've got her written statement, which shortly will be read. 
 But it might help if you'd recall exactly what you said. 
 
 I said stick that f**kin' phone up your f**kin' arse, 
 You're supposed to f**kin' help not make it f**kin' hard, 
 I just tried to make a call but you just acted smart, 
 So I said stick that f**kin' phone up your f**kin' arse! 
 
 Well that's not exactly on sir, no it's just not on at all. 
 You must use proper ettiquite if you wish to make a call. 
 And please and thank you also help - you can't talk to her like that. 
 Please and bloody thank you, well you f**kin' tell her that! 
 
 And she knows without a telephone I'm really in the sh*t. 
 Well perhaps if you'd apoligise that just might help a bit. 
 Apoligise - apoligise - apoligise to who? 
 Just go in and ask for Operator 42. 
 
     Now the song changes key - A=G But the strumming pattern remains the
                                    Same.
                                B=A 

                                D=C 

                                E=D 
 
 Good morning are you waiting is there something I can do? 
 Yes I'd like to speak to Operator 42. 
 Sorry, sir, I missed that, could you repeat what you just said? 
 OH sh*t I DON'T BELIEVE IT HERE WE f**kIN' GO AGAIN! 
 
 Operator 42 - look I'll just write it down! 
 Ooh, Operator 42 - I'll see if she's around. 
 Jeez, they're bloody useless, I'm sure that they're all deaf, 
 No wonder that I did me quince, no wonder that I said: 
 
 Stick that f**kin' phone up your f**kin' arse, 
 You're supposed to f**kin' help not make it f**kin' hard, 
 I just want to make a call but you're just bein' smart, 
 So stick that f**kin' phone up your f**kin' arse! 
      ___________________________
     [Now the song goes back to A] 
     ----------------------------
 Now they'll make me sit around and wait all bloody day, 
 Just so they can make me sweat and have the final say. 
 That's like the public service - they make you scr*pe & bow, 
 Oh, sh*t she's f**kin' ugly if that's her coming now! 
 
 I'm Operator 42 - I'm busy, make it fast. 
 Did a bloke tell you to stick that f**kin' phone right up your arse? 
 Yes he did, the filthy animal, I remember now. 
 Well you'r better f**kin' brace yourself cause they're bringin' it around! 

 And you can stick that f**kin' phone up your f**kin' arse, 
 You're supposed to f**kin' help not make it f**kin' hard, 
 I just tried to make a call but you just acted smart, 
 So you can stick that f**kin' phone up your f**kin' arse! 
 
 Stick that f**kin' phone up your f**kin' arse, 
 You're supposed to f**kin' help not make it f**kin' hard, 
 I just tried to make a call but you just acted smart, 
 So you can stick that f**kin' phone up your f**kin' arse!


Thanks for reading, any comments welcome :)