WWW.AZCHORDS.COM | God Chords – Tim Minchin | Version #1
[Verse 1]
C Bb F
I never had sex inside a church
n.c.
And never had to pray on Sundays
C Bb F
Never gave minties to the poor
n.c.
And when I'm six foot under some day
C F
I’ll be feeling rotten
Bb
Worms eat from the outside in
C F
Should I take the wager?
Gm F/A Bb
Maybe faking it will get me in
Gm C/D
But faking it has always been a sin
[Chorus]
F Bb
And if you're gonna be a cynic, bear and grin it
F Fsus2
Cos you'll never have the drugs these cats are taking
F Bb
If you wanna learn more from the strangers at the door
F Fsus2
Then I hope they are scones you're baking
F Bb
If you're only the beginnings of a sinner, tell me
F Fsus2
Who is gonna teach you to keep your eyes dilated
F Bb
If you're trying to go to hell, girl, you're doing pretty well
F Fsus2
If you count all the times you masturbated
[Verse 2]
C Bb F
I know it's a breeze to just believe
n.c.
And dress him up the way you like him
C Bb F
Personally I think he plays the drums
n.c.
And goes about in purple lycra
C F
With burgundy leg-warmers
Bb
Fashion never worried him
C F
There's another option
Gm F/A Bb
Maybe disco threads will get you in
Gm C/D
But disco threads have always been a sin
[Chorus]
F Bb
And if you're gonna be a cynic, bear and grin it
F Fsus2
Cos you'll never have the drugs these cats are taking
F Bb
If you wanna learn more from the strangers at the door
F Fsus2
Then I hope they are scones you're baking
F Bb
If you're only the beginnings of a sinner, tell me
F Fsus2
Who is gonna teach you to keep your eyes dilated
F Bb
If you're trying to go to hell, girl, you're doing pretty well
F Fsus2
If you count all the times you masturbated
[Bridge]
Gm F
Far be it from me to ask you
Dm
Questions you can’t answer
Gm F
But tell me why you have to be
Dm
An arsehole all the time
Gm F
And far be it from me to throw
Dm
A spanner at my maker
C Gm Dm
I’ll just sit back and drink your bloody wine
Gm Bb/C
And leave you to things existential
[Chorus]
F Bb
And if you're gonna be a cynic, bear and grin it
F Fsus2
Cos you'll never have the drugs these cats are taking
F Bb
If you wanna learn more from the strangers at the door
F Fsus2
Then I hope they are scones you're baking
F Bb
If you're only the beginnings of a sinner, tell me
F Fsus2
Who is gonna teach you to keep your eyes dilated
F Bb
If you're trying to go to hell, girl, you're doing pretty well
F Fsus2
If you count all the times you masturbated
[Verse 3]
C Bb F
I never had sex inside a church
n.c.
But I love the thought of nuns in g-strings
C Bb F
And I never touched my neighbour's wife
n.c.
But I spilled my share of sacred seedlings
C F
I would be a psycho
Bb
If I tried to keep my seedlings in
C F
I've not got a hope in hell
Gm F/A Bb
If wasting sperm stops you getting in
Gm C/D
But who the hell made wasting sperm a sin?
[Chorus]
F Bb
And if you're gonna be a cynic, bear and grin it
F Fsus2
Cos you'll never have the drugs these cats are taking
F Bb
If you wanna learn more from the strangers at the door
F Fsus2
Then I hope they are scones you're baking
F Bb
If you're only the beginnings of a sinner, tell me
F Fsus2
Who is gonna teach you to keep your eyes dilated
F Bb
If you're trying to go to hell, girl, you're doing pretty well
F Fsus2
If you count all the times you masturbated
How to play "God" {Guitar Pro} on acoustic guitar.
\==================================
Song Overview:
Key: F major
Capo: No capo
Difficulty: Intermediate
Tuning: Standard (E A D G B E)
Tempo: Approx. 90 bpm (swing feel)
Chords Used:
* C major (x32010)
* Bb major (x13331)
* F major (133211)
* Gm (355333)
* F/A (x03211)
* C/D (x5555x)
* Fsus2 (133011)
* Dm (xx0231)
* Bb/C (x3333x)
Strumming Pattern:
Strumming: \~90 bpm
Pattern: D D U U D U (Down Down Up Up Down Up)
Emphasize the swing feel; let the rhythm breathe.
Sections Breakdown:
Intro:
* C – Bb – F
* Play with a gentle swing; let chords ring out naturally.
Verse 1:
* C – Bb – F
* C – Bb – F
* C – F – Bb
* C – F – Gm – F/A – Bb – Gm – C/D
* Focus on smooth transitions; maintain the swing rhythm.
Chorus:
* F – Bb
* F – Fsus2
* F – Bb
* F – Fsus2
* F – Bb
* F – Fsus2
* F – Bb
* F – Fsus2
* Keep the strumming consistent; emphasize lyrical phrasing.
Verse 2:
* C – Bb – F
* C – Bb – F
* C – F – Bb
* C – F – Gm – F/A – Bb – Gm – C/D
* Maintain the groove; let the lyrics guide the dynamics.
Bridge:
* Gm – F – Dm
* Gm – F – Dm
* Gm – F – Dm
* C – Gm – Dm – Gm – Bb/C
* Play with a more subdued dynamic; focus on chord clarity.
Verse 3:
* C – Bb – F
* C – Bb – F
* C – F – Bb
* C – F – Gm – F/A – Bb – Gm – C/D
* Return to the original groove; let the song build naturally.
Common Mistakes:
* Rushing the swing rhythm; take time to feel the groove.
* Inconsistent chord transitions; practice slowly to build muscle memory.
* Overstrumming; let the dynamics of the song guide your playing.
General Tips:
* Use a metronome to internalize the swing feel.
* Practice chord transitions in isolation before integrating into the song.
* Listen to the original track to understand the song's dynamics and phrasing.
Song Facts:
"God" by Tim Minchin drips with biting satire and gospel irony. It plays
like a hymn, but the lyrics slap—sarcastic, irreverent, deadpan. It mocks
miraculous faith with cold logic and showbiz flair. Minchin turns a
friend's anecdote into a full-blown philosophical trial of religion's
inconsistencies. His musical smirk walks hand-in-hand with rich, biblical
imagery twisted into a vaudevillian swagger. Every line dares belief to
defend itself under stage lights.
The verses unravel themes of sexuality, guilt, and doctrinal absurdities.
He jokes about never having sex in church, yet fantasizes nuns in g-strings.
He mocks divine dress codes, imagining Jesus in legwarmers. Underneath
the irreverence is deep frustration with arbitrary judgment—who made
wasting sperm a sin, anyway?
Choruses repeat like a broken sermon—"If you're trying to go to hell, girl,
you're doing pretty well." It’s funny, yes, but every laugh has teeth.
Minchin’s tone is that of a modern heretic with a piano.
Song Meaning:
Verse 1:
Raises moral contradictions—acts not committed, judged anyway.
Considers fake faith as a loophole, then flips it—faking is sin.
Chorus:
Mocks pseudo-piety and the pretensions of ‘goodness.’
Satirizes moral superiority with blunt sexual references.
Verse 2:
Goes personal—imagines God as camp, musical, unbothered by sin.
Challenges rigid images of holiness.
Bridge:
Confronts the divine with sarcasm and wine.
Turns existential questions into drunken banter.
Verse 3:
Pushes irreverence into overdrive. Fertility and guilt collide.
Rejects the logic that pleasure equals punishment.
Comparisons to previous works:
“God” fits Tim Minchin’s catalog of secular ballads dressed as hymns.
Compare it to “Thank You God”—a live takedown of miraculous healing claims.
Or “The Fence,” where relativism gets skewered. “God” is rawer, funnier,
less about convincing and more about confronting. It’s not as theatrical
as “Not Perfect,” but it’s bolder in its satire. Less piano flourish,
more bite per bar. He’s not just performing now—he’s confessing through
mockery. This song is a sermon in reverse. A tutorial on sacred absurdity.
A Guitar Lesson disguised as a blasphemous jam.