Jon Lajoie - Wtf Collective Ukulele

"(2)
I tried my best to as accurately write this out as possible. Just strum to the beat. 
If this isnt done in a way that everyone understands or doesnt measure up to 
"format" here I apologize, this is my first submission to the site. 
Also, I apologize if my French is not up to snuff ;)
Verses:
Am           Am
Mc Confusing back in this b**ch
   F                           E
With a parking sandwhich and a chicken ticket
    Dm                        Dm
I got a liquid facelift from a fig with big tits
      E                       E
And my wrist got twisted by a britt with fig spit
     Am                      Am            
And you don't understand it cause you're not supposed to
     F                      E  
Like a candy cane snake in a jealous cartoon
      Dm                    Dm
And I'm gonna leave soon, but first I need to
      E                     E  
Drink a Chevy Chase Face and rape Robocop 2
Am                  Am
Yo I'm MC Historical Inaccuracy
       F                           E    
I drop lyrical bombs like Hiroshima in '73
      Dm                        Dm 
I write rhymes like Shakespeare when he wrote Anne Franks Diary
        E                      E
Which is about the Civil War from 1812 and Germany
        Am                       Am
I'm like the Spanish Inquisition when they killed Jesus
       F                          E   
And Abe Lincoln's suicide was the theme for my thesis
      Dm                      Dm          
Like Moses when I focus I can split the Red Sea
      E             E
Like he did in 1950 with the Chinese army
Am                      Am
I'm MC Don't Know How To Pluralize Word(s)
         F                 E
I've got so many rhyme and I sleep with all the girl
     Dm                                 Dm 
When there's more than one of something you're supposed to pluralize
    E                               E
But I never learned that throughout all the year I've been alive
      Am              Am
Hello, I'm MC Canadian Stereotype
      F                             E
I'm aboot to get started, so let me get off the ice
      Dm                      Dm
But I don't want any trouble and I'm always polite 
        E                    E  
Now hop on my snowmobile and I will tell you what I like
   Am                           Am   
But first I'll turn off curling and turn down Avril Lavigne
    F                                  E  
Et j'vais dire une phrase en francias, parce qui'ici on est bilingue
   Dm                      Dm
Oh boy I fell off my igloo and I hurt my knee
      E                               E 
Let's go to the hospital, don't worry here in Canada it's free, eh
Am         Am   
MC Fatigue did you miss me
     F                      E
I'll be awake five minutes cause I had a coffee
         Dm                      Dm  
I'll try to get through my verse, but I really don't know
      E                 E
I had that coffee about five minutes ago

CHORUS:
Am                                             F
They hired me again to sing this mother f**kin chorus!
                         Dm 
I haven't found a f**kin job yet
                     E     
So I have to do this bull sh*t (I can't take it I'm done)
Am                                      F
I don't think I can sing another f**kin chorus!
                           Dm
I think I'm gonna jump off a bridge
                          E
Or shoot myself like Kurt Cobain did (I think my dad has a gun)

Verses:
Am                   Am
I'm MC Knows Too Many Facts About Bees 
   F              E 
50 miles an hour is their average speed
        Dm                  Dm
A queen can lay up to 3,000 eggs in a day
          E                        E
Just cause I know a lot about bees doesn't mean that I'm gay
        Am               Am
I'm also MC In The Closet Homosexual
         F                       E  
I hide it cause it's easier to be heterosexual
         Dm                             Dm
We can't even get married in most states here in America 
              E                          E
it's f**ked up(MC Canadian Stereotype: Gay marriage is legal here in Canada)
Am                 Am
I'm MC Homophobic f**king a**hole
      F                     E
Being gay is evil and it is unnatural
      Dm                         Dm
Jesus said to love thy neighbor, but only if they are straight
        E             E
Penises go in viginas anything else is just insane
    Am           Am
I'm Mc Extremely Inappropriate Rhymes
               F                  E 
I shake things up like J. Fox when I get on the Mic
      Dm              Dm
And I drop my enemies just like Christopher Reeve's horse
      E                  E
Then I put them to sleep like Heath Ledger of course
       Am              Am   
WOAH, I'm MC Extremely Politically Correct
      F                       E
I disagree with the last MC's Lyrical content
        Dm                      Dm
It was: offensive, insensitive, and in very bad taste
          E                            E  
Just like that guy who wrote that song when Michael Jackson passed away
    Am             Am 
Yo, MC Final Verse here to end the song
 F                      E
One was enough we didn't need a sequel Jon
       Dm                             Dm
Make a fourth "Show Me Your Genitals" or another "Normal Guy"
    E                                 E
But for now lets end this stupid song with a suicide

Chorus:
Am                                           F
This is the last time that I will ever sing a chorus!
                       Dm 
My dad's gun was in his closet
                       E
And I'm gonna end this bull sh*t (I had a good run)
Am                                                 F
I'm gonna pull the trigger as soon as I finish the chorus!
            Dm 
Syanora and farewell
                       E  
Guess I'll see you all in Hell (4,3,2,1)
Am
"