WWW.AZCHORDS.COM | Garfunkel And Oates - Frozen Lullaby Ukulele | Ver. 1
CAPO ON 2ND FRET
C G7
When a man doesn't love a woman very very much
G7 C
He signs away his paternal rights and jizzes in a cup
C G7
Then with lots of money and scientific genius
G7 C
Hormones, pain and of course, um... Jesus
C
The process begins the way god intended
Am
With a transvaginal ultrasound
F
With a wand longer than a ukulele
G
When it comes out of my body, it makes this sound (pop)
C
I give myself daily intradermal injections
Am
An acute blood thinner and estrogen concurrence
F
Cryopreservation through hormonal activation
G
And none of it's covered by insurance
Am G
Then I'm knocked out and you're removed
C F
And combined with a stranger's come
F
And as the saying goes You win some,
G
you lose some
C
And then you're frozen until I'm certain
Am
It's time to unthaw you into a person
F
Then you'll expire or you'll make the grade
G C
And that, my darling, that's how babies are made
Am F G C Am F G
(It's so easy and natural)
CHORUS 1:
C Am
Hush little egg baby don't say a word
F G C Am F G
Mama's gonna freeze you til she gets rich
C F
And when that day finally arrives
Am G
You'll be constructed in a petri dish
D
With sperm donor 8w6-3
G
The silent partner of our family
C Am
So hush little egg baby don't be sad
F G C Am F G
Just because I never f**ked your dad
VERSE 2:
C
I know there are orphans everywhere
Am
But I'm going to pretend that isn't real
F
Don't look at me like that just cause I admit it
G
You had kids and you knew the deal
C
Yeah I feel guilty about overpopulation
Am
And ruining the environment for forever
F
But Osama Bin Laden had 20 kids
G
So f**k you or whatever
Am G
Sadly procreation is not a meritocracy
C F
And we need to prevent a real life Idiocracy
F
Though it may be the ultimate form of narcissism
G
It's also a way to re-reverse reverse Darwinism
C
I want all the stuff I don't need a bucket list
Am
It doesn't make me greedy it just makes me feminist
F
Now I'm thinking back through all the guys I've dated
G C
If they heard this song they'd f**king hate it
Am F G C Am F G
(It's so easy and natural)
CHORUS 2:
C Am
Hush little egg baby don't you cry
F G C Am F G
You'll have the best genes mommy can buy
C F
I don't want to wait till I get in dire straights
Am G
My friends say if I want kids I should go out on some dates
D
But these working b**ches don't have time to leave it to the fates
G
The world deserves more Riki's and the world deserves more Kate's
C Am
So hush little egg baby dads are overrated
F G C Am F G
He did what mattered when he masturbated
BRIDGE:
C G7
Hush little egg baby just hold firm
G7 C
Mama's gonna buy you designer sperm
C G7
And if that sperm gives you random traits
G7 C
Mama's gonna test your dna
C G7
And if your dna doesn't make things clear
G7 C
Mama's gonna just have to live in fear
C G7
And if that fear turns into guilt
G7 C
Mama's gonna hold onto what we built
C G7
And if I hold too tight as to suffocate
G7 C
I'll buy you lots of things to overcompensate
C G7
And if that overcompensation's too transparent
G7 C
I'll pretend it's somehow better with no male parent
C G7
And if you say but mom who's my dad
G7 C
I'll say I don't know and it's just too bad
C G7
And if that badness forms a hole in your heart
G7 C
I'll want to make it up to you but won't know where to start
C G7
I'll probably start by saying it's just you and me
G7 C
And there's no such thing as a normal family
C G7
So f**k being normal and let's do this sh*t
G7 C
Momma's gonna freeze you til she... gets.... rich
