Stephen Lynch - Down To The Old Pub Instead Ukulele

Down to the Old Pub Instead
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Got this from another site, but the words were incomplete so i filled in the
gaps...really good song! another irish classic lol! sorry the formattings a bit
screwed but thats how i found it. Credit to: Jon Cutright
not me!

INTRO:
F ^Ö G - F ^Ö G


VERSE 1:
F                     G
Lad it^Ã’s your duty to find you a lass
     F                        G
with child-bearing hips and a pink supple ass
    F                     G                 F     G
And make her you wife and love her with love so true
          F                     G
Now, some rivers run high some rivers run low
         F                         G
When her river runs red then she starting her flow
         F                       G                       F    G
And it^Ã’s called menstruation and heres what I means to you
         Am                      F
You will notice her bloomers are spartie? At first
      F                 G
Stand back, her ovarian dams gonna burst
   Am                      F
So don^Ã’t be afraid it's a natural thing
     F                      G
Just wind up some cotton and give her some string
F
Put the old linens on top of the bed
    F                        G
get out of the house and go down to the old pub

  F     G   F   G
instead.


VERSE 2:
       F                     G
She^Ã’ll retain her water her breasts will be tender
    F                         G
And every third word that you say will offend her
    F                       G                     F      G
Get out of the house and go  down to the old pub instead
           F                         G
And she^Ã’ll want to make love if you do you're a  fool
             F                  G
Cause you^Ã’ll only end up with a bloody ol' tool
    F                    G                     F      G
Get out of the house, down to the old pub instead
           Am                     F
And she^Ã’ll want you to sample the fruit of her loins
    F                         G
But son it^Ã’ll taste like some old rusty coins
   Am                          F
So turn off the lights boy and take off your hat
    F                         G
And drop to your knees say a prayer to st pat

     F
Then he^Ã’ll give you the strength to get out of the bed
        F                  G
And for Ireland^Ã’s sake go down to the old pub

  F     G   F   G
instead.


VERSE 3:
        Am                         F
Now the pub is the place where the lads are a meeting
F                            G
When the moon^Ã’s full and the girls are a bleatin
    Am                        F
The catholic, the protestant even the pagan
    F                          G
The pub is the place when lady is raggin
   F
So drink of your pint boys and thank your shamrocks
        F
That as men folk we don^Ã’t have to bleed from our cocks
         F
And that we can escape from the lady in red
        F                       G
And get out of the house and go down to the old pub

e]------------3---
B]----------3-----
G]--------0-------
D]------0---------
A]----2-----------
E]--3-------------
  instead.