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Albuquerque

Albuquerque Guitar Tabs

Weird Al Yankovic - Albuquerque chords, tabs, tablatures, lyrics

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Albuquerque Guitar Tabs – Weird Al Yankovic

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ChordsTabsUkulele
Chords:
F	133211
B	113331
Fm7	131111
Bm7	113121

E-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-8h10p8-|-------------|
B-------------|-------------|-------------|--10---------|
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                                                       F F
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the
                                          F F
stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the 
                           F F
street from Jerry’s Bait Shop… You know the place… Well anyway, back then 
         F F                                   F F
life was going swell and everything was juuuuust peachy… except of course 
                 F F                                F F
for the undeniable fact that every single morning my mother would make me 
                                F F                       F  F   
a big old bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast. Daaaaaaaouh! Big bowl of 
 F    F 
sauerkraut!
E-13------------|
B---13p10-------|
G--------10-----| F       F       F                              F F
D---------------| Every single morning! It was driving me crazy. I said to 
A---------------|
E---------------|

                                                    F F
my mom, I said, “Hey mom, what’s up with all the sauerkraut?” And my dear 
                     F F                                               F F
sweet mother she just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train. 
                                                           F  F  F  F
And she leaned right down next to me, and she said, “It’s good for you!” 
B B B B               F        F         F      F     B      B        B
        And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth 
     B        F   F  F   F     B      B        B         B         F  F
and force-fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty-six and a half 
                                    F F
years old. That’s when I swore that someday, someday I would get out of 
                   F F                                         F              
that basement and travel to a magical far away place where the sun is 
                        B                            F 
always shining and the air smells like warm root beer and the towels are 
            B            F                                  B     
oh so fluffy, where the shriners and the lepers play their ukulele’s all 
              F                              B                       
day long and anyone on the street’ll gladly shave you’re back for a 
 F       B  B    B B   F                              
nickel. Wakawakadoodoo yah! Well let me tell you people, that it wasn’t 
                     F F                                       F F
long at all before my dream came true because the very next day a local 
                                                F F
radio station had this contest to see who could correctly guess the number 
                      F F                                           F F
of molecules in Leonard Neroy’s butt. I was off by three but I still won
                              F F
the grand prize. That’s right a first class one-way ticket, to 
F Fm7 B Bm7   F       B F F Fm7 B Bm7   F       B
A     -    lbuquerque,   A     -     lbuquerque! Ah yah, you know I never 
                                    F F 
been on a real airplane before and I gotta tell ya it was really great.
F F                                               F F
Except that I had to ist between two large Albanian women with 
                                        F F
excruciatingly severe body odour and the little kid in back of me kept 
                          F F
throwing up the whole time. The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper 
                 F F                                                   F F
and salted peanuts and the in flight movie was "Biodome" with Polly Shore.
                                                              F         
And oh yah three of the airplane's engines burned down and we went into a
             B                                 F 
tailspin and crashed into a hillside and the plane exploded in a giant 
 B             F                                                    F
fireball and everybody died! Except for me. You know why? ‘Cause I had my 
              B        F                        B
train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position, had my 
 F            B         F                         B
train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position, had my
 F             B        F                        B
train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position. Ah ha ha 
                         F F                                           F F
ha! Oh ha ha! Ahhhh. So I crawled from the twisted burnin’ wreckage, I 
                                                F F
crawled on my hands and knees for three full days, dragging along my big 
 F                         B                  F                   
leather suitcase, and my garment bag, and my tenor saxophone, and my
 B                                F                       B         
twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky lucky autographed glow in the dark 
       F                                            B  B        B   B
snorkel. But finally a arrived at the world famous “Albuquerque Holiday
 F                                                  F F
Inn”, where the towels are oh so fluffy, and you could eat you’re soup 
                                    F F                 
right out of the ashtrays if you wanna, it’s OK their clean. Well I 
 F                                 B                                 F
checked into my room and I turned down the AC and I turned on the spectro
      B                                         F         
vision and I was just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow 
        B                             F           
that I love so very very much when suddenly there’s a knock on the door. 

F                                       F F                     F F
Well now who could that be? I say, “who is it?” No answer. “Who is it?”
                                                                   F
There’s no answer. “Who is it!?” They’re not saying anything, so finally I 
                                 F 
go over and I open the door and just as I suspected, it’s some big fat 
    F                                                 F F
hermaphrodite with a flock of seagull’s haircut and only one nostril. Oh
        F F                                 F                       B
man I hate it when I’m right. So anyway he burst into my room and grabbes 
          
my lucky snorkel and I’m like “hey, you can’t have that! That snorkel has
  F                                                F F
been just like a snorkel to me.” And he’s like “tough” And I’m like “give
                  F F                                 F           F
it.” And he’s like “make me.” And I’m like “k.” So I grabbed his leg and 
     B            B            F            F            B 
he grabbed my oesophagus and I bit off his ear and he chewed off my 
  B                                          F          F    
eyebrows and I took out his appendix and he gave me a valonic irrigation 
                                      F F
yes indeed you better believe it. And somehow in the middle of it all the 
                            F F                                F F
phone got knocked off the hook, and twenty seconds later I heard a 
                                      F F
familiar voice, and you know what it said, I’ll tell you what it said, it 
                 F       F     B      B      B   F       F    B    B   F
said, “if you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you
      F        B        B              F  B                F       F 
need help hang up and then dial you’re operator. If you’d like to make a 
 B      B     B   F       F    B        F        F        B        B     
call, please hang up and try again. If you need help hang up and then dial
       F   B        F Fm7 B Bm7   F       B F F Fm7 B Bm7   F 
you’re operator. In A     -    lbuquerque,   A     -     lbuquerque! Well 
   F                                                F F
to cut a long story short he got away with my snorkel. But I made a solemn 
             F F  
vow right then and there that I would rest, I would not sleep for an 
   F F                                                   F F   
instant until the one-nostriled man was brought to justice. But first I 
                                  F        F              B           B
decided to buy some donuts. So I got in my car and drove over to the donut
             F                                    B                   F
shop and I walked right up to the guy behind the counter and he says “yah,

wadaya want?”
E-13--------11--------------11131618------------------1113-|
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G-----------------1311------------------171513--13---------| 
D---------------------1310--------------------15-----------| 
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             F F                                F F
I said, “ you got any glazed donuts?” He said, “naaa were all out of 
                       F F                                F F
glazed donuts.” I said, “well you got any jelly donuts?” He said, “naaa 
                                     F F      
were all out of jelly donuts.” I said, “you got any Bavarian cream-filled 
           F F                                                      F F
donuts?” He said, “naaa were all out of Bavarian cream-filled donuts.” I 

                                          F F
said, “you got any cinnamon rolls?” He said, “naaa were all out of 
                     F F                                       F F
cinnamon rolls.” I said, “you got any apple fritters!?” He said, “naaa 
                                   F F
were out of apple fritters.” I said, “you got any bear claws!!?” He said, 

“wait a minute, I’ll go check. 

E------------------------------------------------16-16-18-16-18-18b-|
B-18v----------------------------------------19-19-18---------------|
G------------------------------19-19-21-19-21-21--------------------|
D-----15v---------19-19-21-19-21-21---------------------------------|
A---------19h20h21--21----------------------------------------------|
E-------------------------------------------------------------------|

E-18-16-16-------------------|
B--------18-16-16------------|
G-------------18-18-15-15----|
D---------------------18-18--|
A-------------------------15-|
E----------------------------|
                             F                           F F
Naaa were out of bear claws.” I said, “well in that case, in that case 
                 F F                                                 F F
what do you have?” He said, “all I’ve got right now is this box of one 
                               E-24b\-|
                               B------|
dozen starving crazed weasels.”G------| I said, “OK I’ll take that.” So he
                               D------|
                               A------|
                               E------| 
 F                        B                        F
hands over the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out and they 
   B                          F
immediately latch onto my face and start biting me all over ayiyi 
                                              F F                     F F
yiyiyiyi. Oh, oh man they were just going nuts! Their terin’ me apart. You
                                                                   F FF
know I think it was just about that time that little ditty started goin’
              B BB                     F FF                 B BB
through my head. I believe it went a little something like this. 
 F  F  F  F   B  B  B  B   F  F  F  F   B  B  B  B   F  F  F  F   B  B  B
“Doooohgetemoffmegettemoffmeooogetemoffgettemoffoooohgetoooohgeooohoooahhh
B   F  F  F  F   B  B  B  B  F F       
hohhhiahhooohahahahhhohhhhh!” I ran out onto the street with these flesh 
       F F                                                   F F
eating weasels all over my face, waiving my arms all around and just 
                                                         F F
runnin’ and runnin’ and runnin’ like a constipated wiener dog. And as luck 
                      F F                                          F F
would have it, that’s exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams, her
              F F     
name was Zelda. She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite 
  F F                                 F F
and hair the colour of strange peaches. I’ll never forget the very first 
                   F F                                              F
thing she said to me, she said, “hey, you got weasels on your face.” 

                            F F
That’s when I knew it was true love, we were inseparable after that, oh we 
F F                              F F
ate together, we bathed together, we even shared the same piece of mint-
                     F F                              F         
flavoured dental floss. The world was our burrito. So we got married and 
    B                         F                       B 
we bought us a house and had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and 
        F                            F F
Superfly. Oh we were so very very very happy, oh ya. But then one fateful 

night Zelda said to me, she said, “Sweetie-pumpkin, do you want to join 
                         F FF F B BB          F      B 
the Columbia Record Club?”          I said, “Wooooah hold on now baby, I’m 
 F                       B                        F
just not ready for that kind of a commitment.” So we broke up and I never 
                          F    F     F      F         F Fm7 B Bm7   F 
saw her again but that’s just the way things go, . In A     -    
    F     B   F Fm7 B Bm7   F
lbuquerque,   A     -     lbuquerque! 

E-16-16-16---16-16-16---16------16b16b17b17b17b18b18b-16-13-----------|
B-18-------18---18----18--18-18-18--------------------------16--------|
G--------------------------------------------------------------14-----|
D-----------------------------------------------------------------15--|
A---------------------------------------------------------------------|
E---------------------------------------------------------------------|

E----------------------------------------20p18p16p11-|
B----------------------------------18-16-------------|
G-17-15----18-18-18-16----19-17----------------------|
D------17-------------16-------17--------------------|
A----------------------------------------------------|
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                                                        F F
Anyway then things really started looking up for me, because about a week 
                           F F                                   F F
later I finally achieved my life-long dream. That’s right I got me a part 
                                F F
time job at the “Sizzler.” I even made employee-of-the-month after I put 
                            F F
out that grease-fire with my face. Oh ya everyone was pretty jealous of me 
F F                                    F F
after that. I was getting lota attitude. OK like one time, I was out in 
                       F F                                         F F
the parking lot trying to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil, when 
                                             F F
I see this guy Marty tryin’ to carry a big old sofa up the stairs all by 
                         F F
himself. So I-I say to him, I say, “hey, you want me to help you with 
    F F                                        F F
that? And Marty he just rolls his eyes and goes, “nooooo I want you to cut 
                F F                   B          F       F      F     F
off my arms and legs with a chain saw.” So I did. And then he gets all 
  B     B      B       B     F       F       F      F   B   B   B    B
indignant on me, he’s like, “hey mad I was just being sarcastic.” Well
 F                                                F F
that’s just great, how was I supposed to know that? I’m not a mind reader
                     F F
for crying out loud. Besides now he’s got a really cute nickname “Torso 
 
      E-20-16-18-17-14-16----------------------------------------|
      B-------------------20-16-18-17-13-15----------------------|
F F   G-------------------------------------19-15-17-17-13-15----|
Boy”. D-------------------------------------------------------15-| So 
      A----------------------------------------------------------|
      E----------------------------------------------------------|

what’s he complaining about? Say that reminds me of another amusing
       F F                                                   F F
anecdote; this guy comes up to me on the street and tells me he hasn’t had
                         F F      
a bite in three days. Well I knew what he meant but just to be funny I
 F F                                               F             F
took a big bite out of his jugular vein, and he’s yelling and screaming
      B
and bleeding all over and I’m like, “hey come on don’t you get it?” But he
           F       F             F          B         B            F
just kept rolling around on the sidewalk bleeding and screaming, YAHHHH! 
  F      B             F F       
OHHHH! AHHHH! And I’m completely missing the irony of the whole situation, 
F F                                            F F        F F
man some people just can’t take a joke you know? Anyway, um… um… where was 
 F F                             F F                    F F
I? Kinda lost my train of thought. Oh, uh, well oh okay anyway I know it’s 
                                F F
a roundabout way of saying it but I guess the whole point I’m trying to 
           F     B F                         B
make is, I, HATE, SAURKROUT! That’s all I’m really trying to say, and by 
            F                     B                
the way if one day you happen to wake up and find yourself in an 
 F              B                   F                    B
exsulstential quandary full of woeing and self doubt and wrapped with the 
                   F                  B                         F
pain and isolation of you’re pitiful meaningless existence, at least even
                     B                       F        
take a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in this 
  B                 F              B          F                   B
crazy old mixed up universe of ours, there’s still a little place, called 
F Fm7 B Bm7   F    B   F Fm7 B Bm7   F       B     F           B
A     - lbuquerque,   A     -     lbuquerque! Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
    F            B           F             B            F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
    B               F     B     F     B      F       B       F F B B F F B B
Albuquerque, I say  A, A, L, L, B, B, U, U… QUERQUE! QUERQUE!           
F   F        B   B        F   F        B   B        F    F 
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, 
B   B        F   F        B   B        F   F        B   B
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, 
F   F        B   B        F   F        B   B        F   F    
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
B   B        F   
Albuquerque, Albuquerque,

E-13-13-11-18-16-13-11-13-11/8-6-8-6-4-------1-1-1-1-|
B--------------------------------------1-----1-1-1-1-|
G----------------------------------------3---2-2-2-2-|
D------------------------------------------1/3-3-3-3-| (drum solo)
A--------------------------------------------3-3-3-3-|
E--------------------------------------------1-1-1-1-|
                           (Belch)





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