this is kind of disgusting, but very funny...
Put your arms around me babe,
Can't you see I need you so?
Hold me close against your skin,
'Cause I'm about to begin
C Csus4 C
Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace.
Play with my balls and tell me how big they are.
Honey rub your beaver up and down my face.
G* C Csus4 C
Now sit on the corner of the bed and watch me whack off.
You see that shampoo bottle? Now, stick it up my ass.
Push it in and out at a medium pace.
Talk about your old boyfriend's dick and how big it was.
G* C Am
Now shave off my pubs and punch me in the face.
F G C Em Am
Darling, make me push my dick and balls back between my legs.
Call me an ugly woman and take my picture to show all the people
you work with.
Now pull up my scrotum and take that shampoo bottle out of my ass.
Pretend I'm the pizza delivery guy and watch me whack off.
Strap on a dildo and make me give you head.
Now tell me slow down and do it at a medium pace.
I feel so humiliated. I'm about to blow my load.
You tell it's time to make love but I can't 'cuz I spewed all over myself.
Then you look into my eyes, then you realize
C G Am Em
How much I enjoy loving you. oh.
I'm so sorry I spunked all over my stomach.
G C Am G C
Maybe next time I'll be better at loving you.
. Sandler Adam lyrics