Right now you are down and out
and feeling really cr*ppy
And when I see how sad you are
It sort of makes me... Happy!
Sorry, Buddy, human nature-
Nothing I can do!
G A D
Making me feel glad that I'm not you.
D'ja ever clap when a waitress falls
and drops a tray of glasses?
And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters
falling on their asses?
And don'tcha feel all warm and cozy,
Watching people out in the rain!
People taking pleasure in your pain!
Watching a vegetarian
being told she just ate chicken
Or watching a frat boy realize
just what he put his dick in!
Being on the elevator
when somebody shouts "Hold the door!" NO!!!
"f**k you lady, that's what stairs are for!"
Straight-A students getting Bs?
Exes getting STDs!
Waking doormen from their naps!
Watching tourists reading maps!
Football players getting tackled!
CEOs getting shackled!
Watching actors never reach
The ending of their oscar speech!
Hope you enjoy this-- it's perhaps the funniest musical EVER. And a really nice, mean song.