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Kevin Bloody Wilson, Festival Of Farts Chords (ver.1)

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Festival Of Farts Chords (ver.1)

Kevin Bloody Wilson Tabs
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1
                (C)                               (F)           (C)   
I come from an outback town where f**kin nothin grows
   (F)             (C)           (G)            (G)
No wheat no sheep so we cant even host an annual show 
    (C)                                (F)          (C)
But we got somethin special there that sets our town apart 
(F)               (C)              (G)          (C)
Coz each year in a shed we hold the festival of farts
 [C)                                (F)            (C)
Theres displays and competitions And entries from afar 
       (F)             (C)           (G)            (G)
And those that cant get into town just send in little jars 
    (C)                                (F)          (C)
And old fat sarge the local cop with clipboard and a pen
      (F)               (C)              (G)          (C)
Unscrews the lid and takes a whiff then scores em 1 to 10 
               (C)
He'll give you 2 points for Aroma 
(F)           (C)
2 for the bouquet 
(F)         (C)    
2 for fermentation 
    (G)
And 2 more for decay 
(C)                               (F)           (C) 
And two for presentation of the fancy little jars 
      (F)            (C)              (G)        (C)
And a medal for the best fart at the festival of farts 
(C)                                        (F)           (C) 
And you should see the mob this year That cramed into the shed 
  (F)             (C)            (G)            (G)
Hear the big guns blazing In the farting talent QUest
(C)                                 (F)           (C) 
With old sarge on a megaphone as he reads the riot act 
         (F)            (C)              (G)           (C)
'' Now settle down you bastards, can you hear me at the back 
(C)                                    (F)           (C)
Now we'll give em all a go alright, and butt them cigarettes 
    (F)              (C)                   (G)            (G)
And any of you cunts play up tonight, i'll bust ur f**kin head''
   (C)                                    (F)           (C)
And he unfolds his directors chair And squats on his fat arse 
    (F)            (C)           (G)         (C)
To adjudicate the entries in the festival of farts 
               (C)
He'll give you 2 points for Aroma 
(F)           (C)
2 for the bouquet 
(F)         (C)    
2 for fermentation 
    (G)
And 2 more for decay 
    (C)                    (F)                (C) 
And two for presentation, style and grace and class
     (F)            (C)              (G)         (C)
And a medal for the best fart at the festival of farts 
    (C)                                  (F)                (C) 
Then the crowd roars its approval As the first bloke lets one go 
         (F)              (C)     (G)           (G)
f**kin thunder from down under To open up the show
    (C)                              (F)         (C) 
Then a double burblin gurgler With a chilli afterburn 
     (F)                  (C)              (G)              (C)
Then a downdraft knacker clanger sh*t that must have f**kin hurt 
         (C)                        (F)         (C) 
And the silence single singer That took us by surprise 
       (F)              (C)          (G)              (G)
And a notchous nostril burner That brung tears to our eyes 
    (C)                                      (F)         (C) 
And old sarge the cranky bastard Sat there adding up the marks 
     (F)      (C)              (G)        (C)
As popular as embroids at the festival of farts 
              (C)
coz he'll get 2 points for Aroma 
(F)           (C)
2 for the bouquet 
(F)         (C)    
2 for fermentation 
    (G)
And 2 more for decay 
    (C)                    (F)                (C) 
And two for presentation, style and grace and class 
       (F)           (C)              (G)        (C)
And a medal for the best fart at the festival of farts 
         (C)                                  (F)             (C) 
But the highlight of the show this year Was two kids with a goat
            (F)              (C)             (G)              (G)
That they'd fed on rocks and rotten eggs And dragged in on a rope 
         (C)                                 (F)           (C) 
And as one young fella grabbed his horns to line old billy up 
       (F)                            (C)              (G)      
His mate just warned the ground the goats arse and feck kicked him in the 
(C)
guts 
         (C                                    (F            (C) 
And that old goat fired a f**kin beauty Like a shotgun goin off
            (F)              (C)                   (G)              (G)
 And fired a lethal load of gravel shrapnel Scared sh*t out of the mob 
         (C)                         (F)             (C) 
And as they all dived for cover and hit the deck in fear 
       (F)             (C)              (G)              (C)
Old sarge just kept on markin buck shot whizzin past his ears 
             (C)
He'd give em 2 points for Aroma 
(F)           (C)
2 for the bouquet 
(F)         (C)    
2 for fermentation 
    (G)
And 2 more for decay 
         (C)                         (F)             (C) 
And all in all that bloated goat had probably scored a ten 
            (F)              (C)            (G)              (G)
Except his fartin sh*t and shot old f**kin sarge arse over head 
         (C)                         (F)             (C) 
Then with all of the confusion And no cunt keepin score 
    (F)              (C)                (G)              (G)
And old sarge f**kin screamin They just p**sed off out the door
          (C)                      (F)             (C) 
And even when the dust had settled No-one seemed to care 
            (F)                 (C)              (G)              (C)
that they'd f**ked off with the medal Coz they'd won it fair and square 
             (C)
That goat got 2 points for Aroma 
(F)           (C)
2 for the bouquet 
(F)         (C)    
2 for fermentation 
    (G)
And 2 more for decay 
    (C)                                 (F)             (C)
And three big cheers from all of us For pay back on old sarge 
     (F)           (C)              (G)          (C)
and a medal for the best fart at the festival of farts
             (C)
That goat got 2 points for Aroma 
(F)           (C)
2 for the bouquet 
(F)         (C)    
2 for fermentation 
    (G)
And 2 more for decay 
    (C)                                 (F)             (C)
And three big cheers from all of us For wingin poor old sarge
      (F)           (C)              (G)          (C)
and a medal for the best fart at the festival of farts
            
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↑ Back to top | Kevin Bloody Wilson Chords for Festival Of Farts. Lyrics for acoustic guitar and electric guitar. 1 Tablatures and chords are parodies/interpretations of the original songs. You may use it for private study, scholarship, research or language learning purposes only