C
Ten days in Bali, got four days to go ten days of terror cos im glued to the throne,
F C Am D G7
And im shittin' in litres and firin' both ends, i'll never shit solid again.
C
And its cost me a fortune for this holiday, stead of pissin' it up,
christ, im shittin' it away.
F C Am D G7 C
cause im glued to the loo while my mates are out raving, i'll never shit solid again.
F C G7 C
I'll never shit solid again, or hold anything down for as long as i live,
F C Am D G7 C
cause me arse is jammed open from freckle fatigue, i'll never shit solid again.
C
I called mum back home, she said mix up a cup of cornflour and gravox to
thicken it up,
F C Am D G7
then she pissed her self laughin and hung up the phone, i'll never shit solid again.
C
Just had a crap and im wiping me ring, havent quite finished, start spewin' again,
F C Am D G7 C
Jesus, hope i remember to use the right hand, i'll never shit solid again.
F C G7 C
i'll never shit solid again, so i'll rig up a faucet to stick up me ring,
F C Am D G7 C
at least when i fart i wont splatter me jeans, i'll never shit solid again.
C
I'm doin' cartwheels as i try to guess, a crap or a chunder christ whats comin' next,
F C Am D G7
will it spray through me fingers or run down me leg, i'll never shit solid again.
C
slipped on some shit a foot thick on the floor, skidded arse over tit,
then i spewed a bit more,
F C Am D G7 C
Now i gotta sift through it cause me denture fell in, i'll never shit solid again.
F C G7 C
I'll never shit solid again, me rings hanging out and me guts have caved in,
F C Am
i'll be buried in a bucket and me mates will all sing.....................
D G7 C
"He'll never shit solid again"
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