Jason Boland - A. Hole Chords

Jason Boland - A*****e
Riff played troughout whole song

D C B Bb

.  D--7--5--4--3----- .
   A--5--3--2--1-----
.  E----------------- .

I’m just a regular Joe, with a regular job
I’m your average white, suburbanite slob
I like football, porno, and books about war
I’ve got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor.

My wife, and my job, my kids, and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar.

But sometimes that’s just ain’t enough
To keep a man like me interested
(Oh no. No way. Uh uh.)

No, I gotta go out and have fun
At someone else’s expense
(Yeah yeah. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.)

I drive really slow, in the ultra-fast lane
People behind me, are goin’ insane.
 
I’m an A*****e 
I’m an A*****e 

I use public toilets, and I p**s on the seat
I walk around in the summertime sayin’ “How about this heat?”

I’m an A*****e 
I’m an A*****e  

Sometimes I park, in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people, make handicapped faces.

I’m an A*****e 
I’m an A*****e 

D--6--4--6--4--7-----------
E--4--2--4--2--5--7--5--4--2
A-----------------5--3--2--0
Maybe I shouldn’t be singin’ this song 
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they’re right when they tell me I’m wrong
(NAHHH.)

.  D--7--5--4--3--- .
   A--5--3--2--1---
.  E----------------- .
I’m an A*****e  
I’m an A*****e  

(Spoken)
You know what I’m gonna do
I’m gonna get a 1967 Chevy El Dorado convertible 
With whale-skin hubcaps, an all-leather cow interior
and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights. 
And I’m gonna drive around in that thing at 115 miles an hour,
Gettin’ one mile per gallon, eattin’ cheeseburgers from McDonalds
in the old-fashioned, non-biodegradeable styrofoam containers.
And when I’m done suckin’ down those greaseball burgers,
And wipe my mouth on the American flag, 
And I’m gonna throw the containers right out the side, and there’s not a 
damn thing anybody can do about it, cause we still got the bombs.
Two words, nuclear f**kin’ weapons alright.
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want,
They can have a big democracy cakewalk right through the middle of Tiennamen
Square, and it gonna make a damn bit of difference, because we got the bombs.
John Wayne’s not dead, he’s frozen! And as soon as we can figure out a cure for cancer,
We’re gonna thaw out the Duke and the Dukes gonna be pretty p**sed off!
You know why, you ever taken a cold shower?
Well multiply that s**t by fifteen million and that’s how p**sed the Duke’s gonna be.  
And I’m gonna get the Duke, and Lee Marvin, and John Casavetti and a case of Irish Whiskey,
And I’m , WHAT?

(Hey. Hey. Hey. HEY! You know you really are an A*****e.)
Why don’t ya just shut up and sing the song, pal?

I’m an A*****e 
I’m an A*****e  

A, S, S, H, O, L, E
Everybody A, S, S, H, O, L, E

(Spoken)
I’m an A*****e, and I’m proud of it.