This is exactly how Hank plays it. It's pretty simple.
Intro: C G C G C
Verse 1:
C G
There's a place where you don't wanna be
C G
Where people die constantly
C G
And they never die in normal ways
C G
It's preposterous but still cliche
Bridge 1:
C G
When your drug dealer's aunt kills your mom in a duel
C NC
By chopping off her head with a scythe in a pool
D
Well they're not saying it makes sense
E
They're just interpreting the evidence
Chorus:
C G
This is the plot to every television crime show
C C G
From CSI to Columbo and I think you know what's in store
C G
The guy we met in the first fifteen minutes
C NC
Will come back because you know he did it
C G
I don't think they're trying anymore
C
And I'm getting bored
Verse 2:
C G
There was semen all over the crime scene
C G
So they use the super-fancy semen testing machine
C G
And the DNA database gets a hit
C G
But it looks like he might still get away with it
Bridge 2:
C G
But the final piece of evidence
C C
Totally stumps the bad guy's defense
D
And he breaks down in front of everyone
E
And tells them exactly how it was done
Chorus:
C G
This is the plot to every television crime show
C C G
From CSI to Columbo and I think you know what's in store
C G
The guy we met in the first fifteen minutes
C NC
Will come back because you know he did it
C G
I don't think they're trying anymore
C
And I'm getting bored
Interlude: C
Verse 3:
C G
By the middle of the first season
C G
Murder is eclipsed by sexual tension
C G
And I guess that probably happens a lot
C G
Since crime-solving people are always so hot
Bridge 3:
C G
But then a serial killer kidnaps the girl
C C
And they promise to save her if it costs them the world
D
And they find her two seconds before she dies
E
And they hug and they laugh and they screw and they cry
Chorus:
C G
This is the plot to every television crime show
C C G
From CSI to Columbo and I think you know what's in store
C G
The guy we met in the first fifteen minutes
C NC
Will come back because you know he did it
C G
I don't think they're trying anymore
C
And I'm getting bored
*End on C*
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