Bo Burnham - Five Years Chords

[Spoken intro]
N.C.
Hey baby, uh, it's me
N.C.
Um, our anniversary's comin' up, it's a pretty big one
N.C.                            Em  F#m
And, um, I wrote a song for you
                        Bm   Bm/D      Bm             Em       Fm#       Bm  Bm/D   Bm
So I'm just leaving you this voicemail because, um, I want the song to begin with this voicemail
                              Em            F#m
Like, I want the voicemail to play at the beginning of it
Bm     Bm/D           Bm                               Em                         F#m
So, if you could just download this voicemail when you get it and then text it to me
Bm  Bm/D      Bm                                  Em  F#m
Um, you might need to, like, download another app to   download the⁠—
Bm      Bm/D            Bm                                Em               F#m
I don't know if you can rip your voicemail right off your phone, you might need to, like—
     Bm     Bm/D      Bm
Just Google it, don't call me and ask me
Em                F#m
 'Cause I know, I know what you're gonna do
                     Bm    Bm/D         Bm
You're gonna, you're gonna get this and you're gonna think you just can't do it
                 Em                F#m
And you're gonna call me, but then I'm just gonna Google it
    Bm       Bm/D                 Bm
So, just you Google it, you're an adult, you can figure it out
Em           F#m                                Bm   Bm/D   Bm
Um, so just, figure it out and text me the voicemail
                                 Em                         F#m
Um, immediately, if you wouldn't mind, like, right when you get this
           Bm    Bm/D      Bm
Thank you, um, I love you, bye
 
 
[Verse 1]
Em         F#m            Bm   Bm/D   Bm
 You're my best friend, I love you
Em        F#m      Bm   Bm/D   Bm
 You know me and I know you
Em      F#m                 Bm   Bm/D   Bm
 We got problems that we've been through
Em      F#m             Bm  Bm/D     Bm
 We got sh*t that we'll get through, uh
              Em      F#m
You think I'm rude to you
            Bm     Bm/D   Bm
You think I am the worst
                       Em      F#m
Because I ask when you suck my dick
                   Bm  Bm/D  Bm
To take out your Invisalign  first
 
 
[Chorus]
        Em          F#m
Come on, five years, five years
      Bm    Bm/D  Bm
Still you, still  me, still here
Em          F#m
 Five years, five years, baby
Bm    Bm/D  Bm
 Five years, five years
 
 
[Verse 2]
N.C.                            Bm  Bm/D
We order Chinese, I'm eating my dumplings
    Bm                         Em
You reach over and you take my dumpling
               F#m                    Bm  Bm/D
You don't even say, "Do you mind?" or nothing
          Bm                                   Em
Why would you assume that you're entitled to a dumpling?
     F#m          Bm       Bm/D                        Bm
So I look at you, you look back at me, like, "What the f**k did I do?"
Em                   F#m
If you really wanted some dim sum then
Bm          Bm/D      Bm                  Em         F#m
 You really should've gotten some when we put in the order
                         Bm  Bm/D  Bm
You say, "You're a psycho   and I- I don't wanna fight
   Em          F#m                       Bm    Bm/D
So, let's just drop this, it's not a big deal"
Bm
Okay, but for the record
Em       F#m          Bm  Bm/D  Bm             Em  F#m
 You owe me a dumpling, I mean  it, I won't forget
    Bm
You owe me a dumpling or a dumpling equivalent
 
 
[Chorus]
Em          F#m
 Five years, five years
      Bm    Bm/D  Bm
Still you, still  me, still here
Em          F#m
 Five years, five years, baby
Bm    Bm/D  Bm
 Five years, five years
 
 
[Verse 3]
Em  F#m
 We found a spider in the house
Bm   Bm/D        Bm
 You freaked and you jumped up onto the couch
Em       F#m
 Since I was close and able
Bm  Bm/D      Bm
  I jumped up on the coffee table
Em             F#m
You said, "You should kill that"
Bm  Bm/D       Bm
I   said, "Um, no, f**k that"
Em                  F#m  Bm  Bm/D
You said, "Come on, be a man"
N.C.
What?
         Em         F#m       Bm   Bm/D  Bm
You're a total anti-sexist, a patriarchy fighter
         Em                  F#m
But your whole world view collapses
    Bm     Bm/D      Bm
The moment there's a spider, cool
Em     F#m
 I get it, this is the real you
Bm      Bm/D  Bm
 It's a pleasure, nice to meet you
Em             F#m
sh*t like this brings the movement down
Bm           Bm/D       Bm
Everyone's a feminist until there is a spider around
 
 
[Chorus]
Em          F#m
 Five years, five years
      Bm    Bm/D  Bm
Still you, still  me, still here
Em          F#m
 Five years, five years, baby
Bm    Bm/D  Bm
 Five years, five years
 
 
[Outro]
Em             F#m                              Bm  Bm/D
How come every time I need to take a poo in the bathroom
Bm                                  Em
You out of the blue need to use the bathroom?
     F#m
Just use the guest room bathroom
Bm  Bm/D  Bm
 That's  why we got two bathrooms
Em    F#m
 Just use the guest room bathroom
Bm  Bm/D  Bm                Em   F#m
 That's  why we got two bathrooms
        Bm  Bm/D  Bm
And you know